As I am constantly creeping social websites a different blogs I have come across the term Boss Ass Bitch quite a lot. As a 23 year old who likes to think she is aware of the new fads around her, she however has no clue what this means. But I want to know……am I a Boss Ass Bitch.
What is a Boss Ass Bitch? According to Urban Dictionary a Boss Ass Bitch is “an independent queen who is working for everything shes got and is too hot to trot. Excels in everything she does and does it better than everyone else. Not someone to be messed with; might be little but is pretty ripped.” To me this sounds like a glorified fairytale version of an adult.
So based on the description I am a Boss Ass Bitch, I have my own job and do not depend on anyone else and I make sure that everything I do I do superb. However I do not want to be called a Boss Ass Bitch. I consider myself as a young woman who is trying to get ahead and succeed in life, which is very hard I may say. It is hard not because I am a woman, but because it is hard for everyone no matter what stage of life they are at. I am confident in myself and I am much more comfortable just facing the facts and growing up, instead of calling myself a BOSS ASS BITCH.
Gosh I am so sick.
I get sick often, not really sure why, but I do. I work through it though most of the time. I have to or else I would be missing work all the time! However, I had to call in the past two days because I unable to function. I work in a glass factory and with me being so sick and weak I would have just been asking for a mess to happen if I had shown up.
Even though I am sick and have not been doing much but sleeping, I am so bored. I am not someone who normally just sits around and does nothing. And even when I am sick I will feel worse because I will feel as if I have accomplished nothing!
In the past few days all I have done is:
• play all 60 levels of 94%
• shopped online for dog stuff
• watched all of Friends on Netflix
• cleaned up my Facebook
So all in all I have accomplished close to nothing. But really I am not able to do anything. My whole cranium is pounding and I am weak as hell.
My question is whether or not it is common to feel like a let down and unaccomplished when I am unable to get off the couch because I am ill?
Is love a feeling or a choice? It is possible that you are in love but may not feel like loving, yet if it is a choice then why must I always choose to be miserable? Maybe then it is a little bit of both. If anyone has any incite on this topic please feel free to comment.
My love life is very much one sided when it comes to being honest about feelings. Bud Man, the man of my dreams and soul mate 100%, and I have a history. A very very long history. Short version is that I let him go and broke his heart, however I thought it was the right thing to do. In the long run I had never in my life regretted a decision more in my life, and he had never been so miserable. We did however manage to both grow for the better, after we both hit separate rock bottoms. Here we are again though.
The two of us have never been happier, have never been stronger and have never been so close. We are taking things slowly yet I cannot help but fall for him just as fast as I did the last time. Love him I do, don’t think I ever stopped. And he does feel the same as I do, he has told me many times. The only issue is that it has been a few months now and nothing has progressed any farther with the relationship.
Bud Man is scared, and with reason. Yet I have never been more open and honest when it comes to my feelings and that is something I used to have a problem with. He becomes so very cold sometimes after he says things from the heart. Also he wont talk about how he feels. He just gets all confused and then frustrated. I just wish I could help in understand that I really am not going anywhere this time. Like I am not going anywhere, he is all I want and all I need and I will wait for as long as I have to.
Writing has always been something that has helped me with my mind. My mind can be dangerous sometimes. I suffer from many different mental health diagnoses, which I am not ashamed of at all.
In the past year I have made so many changes to my life. All for the better. I love the quote “I’ve discovered life wasn’t what I expected lately” from the movie La Peau Douce. It is a positive quote to me. My life has changed so much, in ways I never would have expected in a million years. I have received so many opportunities and have never felt more comfortable in my skin.
My life and experiences, both ones filled with joy and ones filled with sadness, I am going to share with others. I feel someone out there will be able to relate and maybe what I have to say will be helpful to them. I want to be able to help others and give them hope.
Just remember there is always a tomorrow.